ESCAPE THE VALIDATION TRAP

It’s normal to be inauthentic. We learn from a young age what will get us attention from our parents, and they drill us down into their way of thinking. Eventually we start to fear that if we don’t act a certain way to please our parents, we won’t get their love. This spills over into other areas of our lives and we create different images of ourselves for different people, pretending to be who we think they want us to be.

The irony of all this is that we’re trying so hard to get love and validation, but the love we receive isn’t the real deal ’cause people aren’t seeing the *real* us.

While we think our parents and families want us to happy, they actually primarily want us to be *safe*. And of course they’re gonna be worried when we stray from the path they walked on, because they don’t know our purpose! They only know what *they* were taught. Elena Brower has said that, 

parents only playa-hate on our dreams because it reminds them that they never chased their own. So if you find yourself getting pissed off and playa-hated on, don’t freak out. Separate the person from their behavior and love them anyway.

It might even be time to have a chat with your parents, or whoever’s doing the playa-hating, and let them know that you gotta do your thing. According to Mastin Kipp, your approval of yourself is more important than the approval you get from your parents. He also says, “The quality of your life is directly related to the amount of difficult but necessary conversations you’re willing to have.”

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